Episodes & recollections

OK....

2005-06-10T06:12:30Z

So I'm back....Much has happened and I'll just hit the hilights....I plan to start regularly doin entries again since I plan to put this on my website...which is a good place to start...YES after years of talking about it and asking peeps for help and promises of "yeah I'd LOVE to..." and *NOT* receiving any help I have figured it out myself. Its not the grandest thing on the net but for self taught it's pretty goddamn good if i do say so myself!

Merci Beaucoup...

Long time no see....

2004-07-20T09:12:08Z

Greetings all! It has been a long time this since I made an entry into this binary forum, and I felt it was long overdue. The incident with H. R. affiliates pretty much devastated me. I feel so cheated by these people and the way I was treated, unfortunately, the able to find an attorney that will take the case and doing anything about it. So, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over. This past week, I registered with Kelly Temp services, and had an interview with blue cross blue shield. Unfortunately my data entry skills were not fast enough to make the grade. I was a bit relieved that they were not because my friend, Jimmy, worked for this company before and tells me that they are bad work for. He stated that working conditions were not good, and after two years he walked out. So when the lady told me that my speed was not up to their standards, I was relieved. As badly as I need employment at this time, I do not need to take a position in what could possibly be a hostile working environment.

This spring and summer has been quite busy for me. Mid May, my mother lost one of her sisters to cancer. She had suffered greatly; she had to be put into a nursing home where she spent her last days. It was a sad occasion, yet joyous in the fact that she was no longer in pain and suffering. Shortly thereafter, while on my way to skyline Chili in the Mid City mall, I was struck in the rear end by lady driving a Volvo. I barely felt the hit, would I go out of the truck I was immediately upset, because her car shattered like glass! I just knew bad light truck was totaled, but when I walked around to the rear end and saw only a few scratches I was greatly relieved. The lady called the police and explains to them what had happened and we moved the vehicles out of the line of traffic. Now, in Mid City mall, there is a police station, and a woman explain to them where we were at and that we needed an officer to fill out a report. She explained to them that all they had to do was step out the front door and they would see us. But this was apparently too much for Louisville police to handle. Instead of walking out to fill out the accident report, Mrs. Clare and I waited fifteen minutes for a police officer to arrive and take the report. Mrs. Claire received a sweet little ticket for not having her Driver’s license or proof of insurance with her. There was a little damage to my vehicle, and life just seem to be getting worse and worse, than I told her that I wouldn’t even turn it into my insurance. The exchanged names and addresses and phone numbers, and went our separate ways. In the weeks to follow I was barraged by telemarketing paralegals, who wanted me to file reports most likely false, to receive benefits from this accident. While the prospect of a large amount of money is a nice idea, taking advantage of this woman and the situation just was not my style. What began cursing them out and hanging up on them. Then one day, I come back from a visit to my mother and there is a business card on my door from yet another one of these paralegals. Now this upset me, because my front door is behind the yet another door in a somewhat secure building. The thought of someone entering my building to put a business card on my door frightened and infuriated me. I called the number on the card, as for the supervisor and read him the riot act.

Oh, and let’s not forget the delightful speeding ticket that received coming home from Campbellsville. Having to piss badly, I sped up to get around traffic to get to an off-ramp, and a police officer pulled me over and cited me for 82 in a 55 and no seat belts. I really needed this. So off we go to traffic court where I’m told that if I plead guilty, I can opt for driving school, and no points will be taken from a driver’s license. So in practice in my speech for when I get front of the judge. Finally it’s my turn, and I stepped up and all I get out is “Guil…” at which point prosecutor says to me “Mr. Hunt, please tell me your address?” at which time I tell him 1944 Deerwood Ave. he then asks me where this is at, and I replied “the Highlands”. He then informs me “This is not what your driver’s license reflects”, and the plea of not guilty was entered on my behalf by the judge, and a new court date was set. So off I go to the D.M.V. to get the address on the driver’s license changed. My next court date arrives, I go in, the officer who cited me was there and is supported me to yet another lady, who reduced my charge to careless driving, which was a relief to me, since the speed I was traveling at that have cost me my license for at least six months. I thanked her, pled guilty, opted for driving school. Four hours of my life to keep from losing points off my driver’s license which I desperately need, seemed like a fair deal to me. I’m not thrilled about it, but hey, I do?...

Well as summer turns into late summer, the political battles begin. It is my personal opinion that George Bush has got to be replaced as quickly as possible. I went with my friend Donna, her husband Stewart, their friends and Jamie, and her friend Sandie to see “Fahrenheit 911 “. I went into this movie with the expectations of it just being a movie, and came out angry and filled with questions. Most of the information presented by Michael Moore was actually common knowledge and should have been of no surprise to me. What angered me the most, I think, is the fact that I have not paid attention to what goes on in the political world. Now I am paying attention. I don’t know John Kerry is the man to run this country, but I know for fact that George bush is definitely not the one that should be running this country. My out and loud stand against George bush has cost me a dear friend, who has informed me that I should “leave. “ I replied quite sternly that this was my country and I would stay and do what ever I could to take it back! Bush has got to go!

Merci Beaucoup...

The Universe must be against me...

2004-04-28T06:38:44Z

I have yet to figure out exactly what it is that I have done to deserve such a soap-opera life of late. I must have either

Spit in the eye of a camel
Walked under a ladder
Broken a mirror

Kicked/ran over/abused a black cat
Offended a witch/warlock
All of the above
None of the above

I opt for none of the above, as I am not a superstitious person, however SOMEthing is tragically wrong in my life. When last I wrote in this digital forum, I was waiting on pins and needles for word on a job with Louisville Gas and Electric. The call finally came and was not good. Angelina Kidd called me on Good friday and stated that I was withdrawn from the running for LG&E because my background check had came back and there was an old misdemeanor on it. She went on to state that I had "Falsified documents" and would not be considered for any further jobs with their agency. I immediately exploded on her, as I had TOLD these people from JUMP that I had an old misdemeanor. I was instructed to check "No" at the question of "have you ever been convicted of a crime?' question on the application. I SPECIFICALLY asked what to do and explained I had a misdemeanor and was told "They are only looking for felonies; You're fine just check "No". So I guess I'm being punished for doing as I was told. I talked to the guy that Interviewed me and explained the whole situation and he said that if i could get my record expunged that I would be considered. I moved heaven and earth, calling in markers and favors owed to me to get my record NOT ONLY cleared, but 2 years early to boot. NOW they won't even return a phonecall. I was devistated to say the least because my insiders in this firm had told me that I had the job sewn up. I was treated VERY unfairly. Had I been told from the start, I wouold have been disappointed but understood. But to set me up to fail like this is totally cruel. I'm considering legal action , but I fear it will come down to her word against mine. So I plan to file a complaint with the Better Business Beureau and the Kentucky State Attorney General's office...I will get my digs in somewhere. I spent Easter in a very deep depression. I have totally withdrawn freom my friends and wanted to be alone. I am still feeling the effects of it, but for the most part I'm feeling better. I AM a worthwhile person and I did NOT falsify records; I did as I was instructed to do. Period.
But the worst has yet to be told.
04.05.04 After a short visit to my Mom's house, I was returning to Louisville. I was approaching the city and I had to piss really bad and I was trying to get around traffic on I-65 to get to the off-ramp to relieve my overly full bladder. I was right in the area where the speed limit drops from 65 to 55 and it was the first part of the month. quotas MUST be filled, ya know Then i saw the black camero with its flashing red and blue lights. Officer Webb approached me like I might have been Charles Manson or some other public enemy. He eased up on the drivers side of my truck, hand firmly on his weapon, and peeked into my window long enough to ask me if I knew "How fast I was going?" "no sir I don't" I replied. "82 in a 55" he said, then pulled back really fast like I was going to blow his head off. Yes people..I held a fully loaded Kentucky State driver's license and a cocked and ready to fire Insurance card in my hand. He took my ID and then noticed that I didn't have on my belts. Well true, I did not; I had taken it off because it was presing on my bladder and removal of it offered a touch of relief until I could get to a restroom. He brought this to my attention to which i agreed that I knew it was the law; Hell the way he was acting, I would have agreed to most anything because I was sure he was gonna gun me down in broad daylight. I sat legs twisted together for about 15 minutes while Barney Fife checked me out and wrote me a citation then let me leave. I immediately went to the bathroom and proceeded home to go to Pick up marmaladekitty to go to work at Accent. As we drove to Indiana, she read the ticket and let me know there was no fine there I HAD to appear in court. now this on top of the fiasco with HRAffiliates was a lot to handle. But I managed. So on 04.21 I go to night court. I get there, and the room is FULL of people. some shoplifiting, but most all traffic violations. The judge, a very pretty blonde woman, proceeded to mirandize us and then began to line us all up in aplhabetical order. She then gave instructions on how the proceedings would go. She stated that if you had a speeding ticket and traffic school was an option, then you could plead "guilty" and opt for traffic school and no points would be taken from your license. Now this little tidbit thrilled me! I wasn't concerned with the fine or the school as much as I was the points and what this citation would do to my insurance. I waited for my name to be called. I was practicing my "Guilty as charged" speech... I was gonna breeze up and do my thing and pay my fine and it would be all over. We all know what they say about best laid plans of mice and men... My name was finally called and I stepped up and said "GUIL.." and the baliff said "Mr. Blank, what is your address?" ...I looked at him totally puzzled and said "Blank Ave., and he says "where is that located?" I say "The Highlands" and he says "Not guilty plea entered by the judge; Court date of May 26th at 9:00 am." Then he says to me "And have your license changed to reflect your current address." Now I am totally dumbfounded because I still dont quite understand what has gone on. It was explained to me that it is law that if a person moves to another county or state, they have 6 months to change their license and if they move to a different part of town then that person has 10 days to make the change. I guess I have been living under a rock or something because I had NEVER ever heard of such a law. I lived in ohio for about 5 years and never changed my license from kentucky to Ohio. I cashed checks and banked and did all the things that would require a license ID and it was never questioned. NOW it is, it seems...I hauled my happy ass to the DMV and got my new Lousiville license, so now on the 26th I guess we will start this process all over again. I'm not so sure that I'm not gonna go armed with a lawyer this time...I dont know what in the hell to expect next.
Last Friday night, I had planned on staying home and being depressed, and I got into a huge fight with my best friend. He is the type person who has to be the superhero in all situations. His nerves were already rattled because he was not the one that got my record cleared, and balked when I asked to share some software, I had to point out that a lot of the software he has came from my hacking abilities or the person I was sharing the software with and He went ballistic. we had a huge fight via yahoo and I HAD HAD ENOUGH! I have worried about all this horseshit until i was gettin regular headaches and his childsihness was the absolute final straw. I threw a couple changes of clothes in a backpack and got in my little pink truck and started heading to Ohio. yeah, I ran away! And it was the best thing I have done for myself in a long long time. I went to see all my old friends and totally forgot HRAffiliates, LG&E, Speeding citations, surgeries (see below) and adults who act like spoiled 4-year-olds and had myself a day or so of pure fun. Before I left, I made some arrangements to meet up with a guy from Bear411 and made plans to go see my long-time friend Walt. It was great to walk into my old haunts with him just like the good old days. I got to see my friend Michael and he redid my hair...which had grown out and had become kinda unsightly. saw a lot of old friends, made a few new ones, and learned that, sadly, a lot of my old friends have passed. AIDS has to be stopped. Bottom line. Aside from the sad news, it was a worthwhile trip. I returned refreshed and with a clear head, and ready to go at this again.

Now as if my plate is not full enough, I have had to deal with a couple other things along the way, too.

My uncle had to have emergency surgery to repair a hiatle hernia shortly after I got the ticket. His hernia got so bad tht it had turned his stomach upside down and was pushing his organs up his esophagus. The surgeon had to go in and reposition all his internal organs, repair his hernia and check the minor organs (gall bladder, appendix, ect) for damage. He came through just fine and out of the hospital and recovering nicely
Today, My 30 year old cousin had open heart surgery to remove the sack that surrounds his heart.This sack acts as a shock absorber, cushioning the heart from jarring. It had become diseased and was growing hard, slowing his heart down and would eventually kill him. Derrick has known about this problem for years and has just let it go until it got critical. I'm told he did just fine.
Angela's incessant non-stop whining
Tommy's incessant non-stop nagging

Now on a brighter note, today I went to Churchill Downs With my cousins Lisa and Gwen and Lisa's 2 children Allen and Allison. I had never been to a horse race before, let alone Churchill Downs. We had great fun today, another first in a long time. We bet the ponies and I ended up winning about 25 bucks. Lisa's children cleaned up! bot won a total of about 80 bucks between the 2. Both are under age so Mom Lisa made their bets and they sure showed up the adults today! We stayed all afternoon and then I came home. I'm tired as hell but I'm in better spirits now. If the old cliche` "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" is true, then I must be Hercules by now...

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 28th of April:
FOCUS ON HEALTH ISSUES TODAY

Romantically this is the day to take a chance, Aquarius. There is a grand fire trine out there that really inspires you in a big way. You’ll want to send a message to a potential mate and let them know just how sexy they are to you. Jupiter in your 8th house trines with the Sun so you may want to invest in real estate- today it will bring you great luck. Pay attention to health issues too, especially those that have to do with psychological development. Dare to find inner stability and peace. The Moon is in Leo so emotionally it’s wise to be aware of your own needs; take some time out to pamper yourself.

Merci Beaucoup...

Today is gonna be a very long day...

2004-04-08T16:02:18Z

I just finished my 2nd interview with the company I have been trying to get a position with. I'm so glad its over, but yet it's not over. The hair looked ok...coulda looked better. The outfit was good...I was smiling and calm through it all but screaming inside. This has been one hell of a week for me. I usually don't angst over things, but marmaladekitty has kept me so upset and nervous about all this I could die! First of all there were literally hundreds of applicants for these positions. It was then narrowed to 8 people for 5 positions. Jesus I have felt like I was a finalist in the Miss America pageant or something!

Tuesday Angelina calls me and says that I have been chosen and I need to take more tests. Then she proceeds to ship them via email and I took. I didn't do very well and freaked. I contacted her and I got a chance to retake. I did some better, but not much. By now I am very down about it all and figure I'm out of this race...

Wednesday Angelina calls again to say that she needs my resume` immediately and asks if I have it in a form that can be emailed. I tell her yes and I can email it as soon as I hang up the phone. She asks if I have an email address and I kind of hesitate for a moment because she has been emailing me for 2 days...now what's up with THAT question? Anyway I send her my resume` which she redoes and submits. She then calls back about 30 minutes later and tells me that I have an interview thursday! I was so pumped up and excited. Even though I didn't fare too well on the last test, my overall score was an 89% which secured me at least an interview. Angelina then emails me with what to wear and a general "pep talk". Then I had to face hurricane marmaladekitty and her paranoiac whining. She also got an interview but continues to whine about the whole process. With each of her moans I get more and more nervous and unsure of myself about the whole situation. We finished the evening in telemarketing hell and I took her home. As I was leaving her neighborhood, I hit/killed a dog. This tore me totally up because I felt it an omen to what was to come. I have been tested and questioned and had to deal with my own insecurities as well as hers and it was the straw! The final straw! I came home and tried to calm down, but it just wasn't in the cards. I SHOULD have been in bed but with all that was running thru my mind I couldn't have slept if I wanted to.

Today Good friends called this morning to make sure I was up and moving in time for the interview. I may not have 2 nickels to rub together but I sure have a wealth of good supportive friends! Still freaking out I got up and got ready to go to HRAffiliates for my interview. Still screaming on the inside and looking pretty good for a fat man I drove over to the offices. As luck would have it, I had to park in the lower 40 and walk a mile to get in. I got out of the truck and something a new friend said to me struck me between the eyes. My friend Anita said to me last night at work: "Go in there and claim your job!" Using that as a mantra, a calm came over me and I fixed my mind to a "Fuck everything else! I'm worthy of this" attitude and the more I walked towards the building the calmer I got. I marched right in there like I owned the place! The lady at the desk asked me if she could help me and I said "I'm here to see Angelina." I hadn't noticed but she was standing right in front of me. I was about 20 minutes early and she was speaking to a gentleman. Then she said to him "This is Jeffrey..." and He shook my hand and introduced himself as Greg. This was the man I was to interview with. Before I could even straighten myself up form the wind outside him whisked me into his office and began the interview. I was informed that it would be very short and he had simply wanted to meet his candidates and let them know what was ahead. I feel pretty good about the interview. I was also told that out of all the applicants that were tested, I had the highest scores overall! Now this little tidbit about sent me over the edge because I KNOW there was one...the Math test...that I did NOT do well on at all. But I smiled and answered his questions to the best of my ability and tried like hell to "Claim my job". At the end of the interview, he asked if there were any questions I had...I said "Well...not to be pushy, I would like to know how soon it will be before we are notified. He replied with "probably sometime today; Orientation begins next Friday and you will get a call or an email if you are chosen. I left feeling pretty good about everything. My gut says I have this but I'm still anxious...Like the title says...this is going to be a VERY long afternoon...BUT one thing for certain; I have a lot of friends wishing me well and keeping a good thought for me. Yes, No, or indifferent that means the world to me!

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 8th of April:

BE ASSERTIVE AND IDEALISTIC TODAY! (OK so I did....)

Ambitious connections allow you the opportunity to work on a new creative project today, Aquarius. Tune into the vision, and see how you can help the world through your own example. Avoid worrying too much about those things that you can’t control.(AMEN to that one) The universe wants you to learn to let go of something deep, emotional and painful. It’s time to heal and move on. Part of you needs to die as well, but weeding the garden will prepare the way for brand new growth. Avoid sudden action however, since there is a t-square between Uranus in your second house and Jupiter in your 8th house - instead experiment with the clues and come up with a new perspective.

Merci Beaucoup...

Hello, My name is (operator)...

2004-04-06T17:57:22Z

Can ya guess what I'm doing for a living? Thats right...Telemarketing! Oh BOY...annoying people during dinner. Just the career I had in mind while I was in college. It's Easy enough money I guess, Until this other company either takes or rejects me. I will update from the past week.
04.01.04
After several tests with HRAffiliates, I started a temp job with Accent. UGH!. it sucks out loud. I despise this. I made marmaladekitty go with me to alleviate her consistant whining to me via yahoo. we spent about 4 hours in a very boring training session then about an hour on the phones taking actual calls. I think the guy that is in charge of our survey got annoyed with me during trainingm because I didn't act like I was interested in the job at all. This wasn't the case. It was just stuff that has been drilled into my head over the years and is second nature to me. Hell a trained monkey could do the job! anyway like i said... it's easy cash.
04.02.04
After a night of hangups, answering machines and "Not interested's" I took Angela to Sumshee's. It was her first time there and already there's drama. This homeless troll she has been talking to online via Yahoo and Louisville MoJo started talking shit and lying to her. Some of his so-called friends told her all about him and somehow it got around that SHE was the one doing all the talking. Not TRUE at all I was there and heard them tellihng her his tale. Yet another straight street bum infiltrating our places to endear themselves in hopes of a handout. Angela is so naieve and gullible and believes every word spewed outta this fool's mouth. So they can have the drama...I'm out of it!
04.03 thru 04.05.04
Work is going...well it's work and money. Thats about all I can say for Accent. They have offered some of us permanent placement in INBOUND calls and I may take it to tide me over. Yesterday i got a speeding ticket from HELL. 82 in a 55 and no belts. Looks like driving school for me unless i can pull a few strings with a few friends in high places and get it ammended down. Keeping fingers and toes crossed on that one.
Today
Angelina form HRAffiliates called me this morning and said (company withheld) was VERY interested in me and I had to take more tests. I took them and I don't think I did very well on them at all. Math has never been my forte`. oh well. I'm beginning to feel kinda depressed about it all now. It would be a great job, but I dont think I did very well on the las ttest at all. Perhaps since i blew all the others off the charts they may take pity on me. hahahhaaha! I'm beginning to sound like the trolls that hang out waiting for a handout now....

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 6th of April:
HUMOUROUS INTERACTION OFFERS YOU HEALING!

Career issues come up and you’re expected to be on your toes today, Aquarius. At this point people want to know about your convictions: be prepared to back up your ideas with a plan of action. Financially there may be some wild fluctuations so avoid getting involved in a business deal or a big purchase. A creative idea may be put off, or rejected because it isn’t what your boss had in mind, so take the time to play around with it and come up with a contingency plan that works well for everyone.

Merci Beaucoup...

I just had to post this...

2004-03-30T07:42:49Z

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 30th of March:

COOK FOR FRIENDS TODAY, AQUARIUS! ( you have lost your tiny mind....I ain't cooking NOTHING!!!)

This is a great day for cooking and entertaining passionate and sensual friends, Aquarius. The Moon sextiles with Venus in your 4th house so you shine out on the home front! A good, fiery conversation should make it fun for everyone, as long as you remain sensitive to the feelings of others around you as well. Pluto sextiles with Vesta as well today so some of your most powerful dreams could come true if you are willing to fight for them, Aquarius. After 11am the Moon moves void of course so take a step back at work and stick to your usual routine. After 1pm the Moon slips into Leo so you’ll want to connect with a best friend and let them know how wonderful they truly are.

Merci Beaucoup...

Now when did that happen?...

2004-03-27T01:55:08Z

I guess i have been in the doldrums for so long that I hadn't REALLY noticed spring is here!(Outside the gorgeous scantily-clad men that jog thru my neighborhood...) Today after the wonderful morning I had, I began to see that the forsythia bushes are all bright yellow and the dogwoods are in bloom. Parts of my beloved Highlands are beautiful with the onslaught of spring weather. The air was warm and I actually wore shorts today, and even went barefoot for a short while. The cool grass felt great on my bare feet. I guess life is good , or at least looking up. I physically feel bad, mostly due to the enormous stress relief, but it still was a beautiful wonderful day, and I am in a great mood!

Merci Beaucoup...

OK here goes...

2004-03-26T17:51:34Z

So I made it outta bed in time. I have an hour before my interview. GOD how I HATE this process. But it's necessary I suppose. As God as my witness; AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I SHALL NEVER WALK OUT OF A JOB AS LONG AS A BUSH IS IN THE WHITE HOUSE AGAIN!!! I'm off to shower....Got a little less than an hour...Thank god this place is close to me.
OK the hair looks pretty good...the outfit ain't too bad...I gotta get on South Beach soon. Resume` is printed. All is going OK I think...Best laid plans of mice and men....I'm off.
12:37 PM
I just walked in the door. 5 tests, (which I aced) a million forms, and hundreds of signatures and dates later, I am employed! My test scores way exceeded Angelina's expectations.The test that was most crucial for (company withheld), and the one Angelina was skeptical that I would not do well on, I scored a 96 which was off their charts! she went from skeptical to "when can ya start?" in a matter of seconds. Never underestimate the power of a redhead! I work 3 weeks temp for some company called Accent then I'm on to (Company withheld). HOORAY! I'm not supposed to know that I'm being considered for the other company, but the receptionist, who decided that I was her "buddy", told me that Angelina would DEFINATELY be sending me there. I'm also not counting my chickens on the other company yet but it looks like a "gimmie"...I'm so Pumped!!! HOORAY! I have self esteem again! YAY! EMPLOYMENT! No more "GTOne" Cigarettes! that's a big HOORAY!!!

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 26th of March:

DON’T THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER!

It’s wise not to react too quickly today since the Moon in Gemini squares with Jupiter, it’s easy to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and over confidence could lead you down a blind alley if you’re not careful. Emotionally there is also a great need to escape and this Friday you may want to get out there and catch a movie after a long day of working. Neptune squares with Pallas so expect a practical and stubborn relative to give you some problems- you’ll need to be able to show your concept to someone who doesn’t think the same way that you do.

Merci Beaucoup...

What a glorious day!

2004-03-25T22:16:40Z

I finally got a hit from an agency on a job! HOORAY! George Bush can't keep ALL of us down, guess it was my turn to fall through the cracks! I was beginning to think that applying for jobs through the computer was a bunch of bullshit.
I was wrong.
In Other News... Nothing really to tell. I woke late and wasted the whole day. But tonite? I'm celebrating! I was feeling mighty low...amazing what a phonecall can do...gotta love a phone and a PC!

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 25th of March:

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR CHANCE TO HEAL! (YEAH BABY! HRAffiliates HEAL ME!)

The Moon trines with Chiron today, which means that you’ll want to take advantage of your chance to heal, Aquarius. Step back and contemplate the past and try to let go of a resentment that sets you back. This is also a good day to make amends as well. The Moon conjuncts with Mars so you’ve got a great amount of creative energy, this is your chance to stand out in the limelight and have your say. Not everyone agrees with your values however, so do try to be aware of other people’s feelings at this point. (AMEN & AMEN!!!)

Merci Beaucoup...

A visit to Sumshee's....and other hapenings...

2004-03-24T04:51:42Z

OK, so Glucerna pearl and I went to Sumshee's for coffee earlier....I miss the old crowd greatly. gay_storytime was there and he and I had a nice but short chat. But overall it was pretetious Twinks as far as the eye could see. So Pearlie and I had our coffee, tho after barrista James was so fucking RUDE I was really ready to leave. That's OK I'll speak to Eric my first opportunity...
In Other News...
Friday Pearlie and I checked out the new bookstore in Horse Cave just off I-65. Very new but has much potential.
Saturday Went home to C-ville to work my lil under-the-table job, but was put off til sunday. thought about a return trip to Horse Cave but slept instead. I'm very depressed these days and sleeping a LOT.
Sunday Worked at the plant we clean...was a pretty good day overall. It's shit work but with fun people, and that makes a difference...Afterwards I did a return visit to Horse Cave ...MUCH fun was had !
Monday Slept...thats all I seem to do these days.

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 23rd of March:
FOLLOW ALL THE RULES TODAY, AQUARIUS!

It is one of those Tuesdays when you have to follow the rules and regulations, Aquarius. Avoid going over the top and stick to the game plan. An opportunity for luck opens up for you as well and you will want to get out and try something completely different and see where it takes you. The Moon trines with Jupiter so a new opportunity for luck opens up for you, give yourself the chance to get out there and have some fun. Luck comes to you if you’re willing to become a little more organized, you’ll find gold in the messy closet today!

Merci Beaucoup...

Current Mood...SHITTY

2004-03-19T23:51:45Z

This battle with myself
must be won. I will fight on.

What is wrong with this?
It is playing out all wrong
I am losing the battle
And leaving victims behind
Betraying friends and gaining enemies
Standing unaccompanied on this battleground
Climbing to the crown, to win this fight
Set back once again
I sacrificed it all
betraying friends and gaining enemies
Standing alone is this lost battle
And fell the victim of myself
Sacrifices are to be made
For the better, this blade tells different
I am spilling my guts
Because I have cut myself open
Bleed bleed bleed
And a new day
This battle is covered in blood
THE BLOOD LIES
I AM BLLEEDING FOR A NEW DAY
CUTTING AWAY
THE BLOOD LIES
CUTTING AWAY

*poem courtesy of headed4caskets

Sometimes I think this guy is in my head..knowing every thought I hide from my friends...and then he writes...Am I still whining?

Merci Beaucoup...

Definition of a Twink

2004-03-19T21:36:12Z

TWINK: A cream-filled sponge that isn't very filling and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Merci Beaucoup...

A Whiner's Bloggage

2004-03-19T10:13:08Z

My Prayers
I'm standing on a table in a crowded room.
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
No one looks up.
I'm walking down the hallway in a small town school
I'm smiling from ear to ear
No one seems to care
I'm sitting at a table in a lunchroom full of kids searching for a friend
No one volunteers.
I'm leaving this letter in my bedroom by the window
I'm sorry to leave this way
No one answered my prayers -Author Unknown

Someone Who Cares
Someone who cares, someone who dares love,
Taking me high above,
That’s what my dreams are made of.
I had my chance.
I did my best but failed,
Nevertheless I'm here ready to fight and face my fears.
If you say you will listen then I will try to speak the truth.
I will die if I can't come back to you.
I'll cry now what else can I do.
Time after time I keep loosing my mind.
I came back for you.
Someone who cares.

-Poem Courtesy of Isaac Diamant

I hate a fucking whiner more than almost anything, but today, I'm gonna whine. I found the first poem some time ago on another blog and kept it; I cannot remember the author. It was obviously written by a high schooler, yet it fits adult me right now. Issac writes the most wonderful stuff and I felt these 2 poems fit together and pretty much summed up my current mood. (It amazes me how such depth of feeling can come from younger people; usually they are rude and foul mouthed...) I'm in the bowels of hell and I cannot find a way out. I feel as if I am sleep walking through this life. I go thru the motions well enough, but I'm usually not even there. Is this a nightmare? Am I gonna wake up? When are the officials gonna draw the chalk line around me?I get these waves that wash over me like high tide; "Everything is gonna be just fine!"... and I'm really motivated to seek employment. When friends are around me, it stays with me; then when I am alone... I crash & burn. I walked through Sumshee's Family Room Earlier with Pearlie; All smiles and greeting friends I hadn't seen in a while...yet I wasn't there. My Current situation is clouding & distorting EVERYthing I do. I have got to get off this merry-go-round...
Today was a beautiful day. The apartment was cold when I first got up, but once I walked outside and the air hit my face, I could tell that spring is finally making itself known. I LOVE Springtime in the Highlands; The most gorgeous, scantliy dressed men are now out running off the fat they have built up during Winter/Christmas. I thoroughly enjoy driving or walking along Bardstown Rd. this time of year....
In other news...My neighbor is trying to either roast me or freeze me with the heat. At this moment it's sub-hell in my apartment. I could be totally nude and still be sweating...Pearlie came up and took me for a wonderful supper at O'Charley's. Some sort of gift certificate he won at his work... The food was great and it was a nice visit. As I stated earlier we walked thru Sumshee's and then Pearlie wanted to go to Meijers, so off we went. Now pearlie cant go to just any Meijers; He has to go to the one WAY out Westport rd. Too far...WAY too far for me. THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME THING!!...why does it have to be one so far into the east end that you're almost to Cinncinatti? I don't get it but OK...What the fuck ever...

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 19th of March:

SEE WHERE BOLD AND DARING TAKES YOU TODAY!

The Moon sextiles with Pallas so emotionally you will want to shake things up a bit and try something exciting and new. (My emotinos are shook up enough for the time being, thank you very much...) This is a great day to be bold and daring and see where it takes you. It’s wise to be sensitive to others at work as well, try to narrow down your perspective and empathize with your fellow human on a one on one basis. The Moon sextiles with Venus in Taurus as well so at home you’re inspired to do some gardening, it will be good therapy if you’re feeling a bit raw.(Raw? now that's understatement of the month...) An Aries friend is there to listen to you and will offer you some good advice.

Merci Beaucoup...

agtprovocateur @ 2004-03-17T18:58:00

2004-03-17T23:55:19Z

I MUST rant...and give commendation to gay_storytime

2004-03-17T10:44:24Z

Oh now, I cannot let this one pass. I copied/pasted a complete entry from gay_storytime's journal. Being a "fuller-figured" guy myself I must applaud his standards and put in my own 2 cents worth:

11:53AM - I'm really not used to this...

Alright, so I'm a big guy. It runs in the family. The whole broad shoulder, barrel-chested thing. And in August, I was a BIG guy. I mean, 260+ at 5'11". Now? Now I weigh 180 max., though it fluctuates between that and 175. It almost bothers me. Almost.

Yasee, I've heard people start saying since I started losing weight that I was always a nice guy, but now I'm attractive. I've been hit on by more freaks, weirdos, druggies, and old men in the past month than in the past year. I even had a friend start hitting on me now that I've "started looking nice".

Whoa...wait a sec. "Started looking nice"?!?!?

So in other words, I was a great friend, but now that I've lost weight you want to have sex with me. Uh huh. No thanks.

Listen, you know what I find attractive? Yeah, there're physical aspects, but I like talking with someone. I like being able to think you've only killed a few minutes talking to a person, but it turns out you've been talking for hours. I like someone who can make me laugh, help me relax, and actually KNOWS who John Steinbeck is, even if they hate his writing.
You know what turns me off really quickly? People who seem to judge based only on looks, weight, etc. I'm not the world's most attractive man, I'm never gonna appear in a magazine anytime soon, but I look good enough for government work. And now that, as a guy put it, I'm "hot", I really don't want to associate with those bastards who blow people off simply because of how they look.

Thank you, pretty bois, for the offer, but ya know what? I think I'll keep my friends. At least they're real people.

AMEN TUCK!!!
Tuck looks great and he's getting a lot of attention these days. And that's great...BUT...Tuck has always been a great guy, and the part I don't get goes like this:
Now that he's lost a few pounds, Why does it seem to effect the eyes of some guys? He is the same person he was 6 months ago. His hairstyle hasn't changed. He hasn't bought new clothing. His employment hasn't changed. (Tuck NEVER has cash...but then none of us do!) So explain it to me?
Or do I already know the answer to this question? It's proven more and more each day. Gay men are pretentious and vain. Gay men wonder why they can't find love. well DUH homer! It's not all about looks. I have been through this once in my life myself. I lost over 150 lbs. and all of a sudden guys who would never give me the time of day were hitting on me. My reply was this:
"I am the same person I was THEN. Only the package has changed some. I haven't changed. If I wasn't good enough for you THEN, I'm certainly not good enough for you NOW"

Merci Beaucoup...

Ahhh... back home...

2004-03-17T05:09:12Z

One can certainly tell that Derby time is upon us again; All the little boutiques along Bardstown rd. that sell women's apparel have the most God-awful hats proudly displayed in their windows...It's nice to be back in Louisville once again. Perhaps THIS time i have finally escaped the grasp of Hooterville.I am to go to TARC tomorrow per nutzizi & inquire after the Customer service position offered. Keep fingers & toes crossed, kiddies, Mz. Maudie's well is drying up! Other than this, life in Hooterville is about as much fun as watching the grass grow espically since anything gay is out of the question there. Gotta love a closeted Baptist...

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 17th of March:

WHAT DO YOU NEED FOR SECURITY? (Well, for starters a motherfucking JOB that won't stress me to the limit....)

The Moon squares with Venus in Taurus, which means that emotionally it’s wise to slow down and come to terms with your own need for security within yourself. You’ve got a chance to come to terms with a bigger dream about love and the world around you. Venus sextiles with Ceres so romantically you’ll want to come to terms with your own need to hold on to someone, it’s best to avoid thinking your right all the time. The universe asks you to continue on with patience and not to give up at the first sign of trouble. The Moon sextiles with Pluto so the truth has the power to transform your life in a big way.

Merci Beaucoup...

I have Never...

2004-03-13T06:01:03Z

(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(_) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(_) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(X) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(_) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(X) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(X) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(X) I NEVER HAVE THROWN UP IN A BAR
(X) I NEVER HAVE PURPOSELY SET A PART OF MYSELF ON FIRE
(_) I NEVER HAVE EATEN SUSHI
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN SNOWBOARDING
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN HAPPY WITH MYSELF
(_) I NEVER HAVE LIVED ALONE
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN A LIMO
(X) I NEVER CHEATED ON A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND
(_) I NEVER HAVE COME OUT TO A STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND
(X) I'VE NEVER PAID FOR SEX
(_) I'VE NEVER EATEN SUSHI
(X) I'VE NEVER GONE PARASAILING
(_) I'VE NEVER WATCHED PORN
(X) I have never gotten a woman pregnant
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A TRANSSEXUAL

What about you?

Merci Beaucoup...

"The Deer" ...and other things on my mind...

2004-03-12T19:02:22Z

The Deer

Like the deer search for fresh water,
my soul searches for peace.
Dark pinetrees moves slowly in frum contemplation.
Water covers the ocean. The proud ocean roared from shore to shore.
Why so sad?
My soul, restless in me.
Where will you rest?
If the light in you is darkness,
then how big isn't that darkness?
The house is empty, a sleeping cat.
When should I come, when will I step forward?
Light is darkness.
I saw a deer down by the water
and now it is gone.

Poem Courtesy of Isaac Diamant

I'm feeling pretty good today, altho I feel more like the poem I posted...The sun is shining, the day is gorgeous, and tho it's cold I know it's almost spring. This week has sucked out loud; Monday thru thursday I did/accomplished absolutely nothing worthwhile. I did work my lil under-the-table job and now I'm babysitting my best straight bud's 16-year-old autistic child. "J" is a very loving, good kid and it should be pretty quiet weekend here. They have a beautiful home, in a remote wooded area near Green River. private. Quiet. Man, all this scene lacks is a handsome man to help me babysit. Monday I vow to be back in Louisville and beating the pavement to find work. Vacation season is upon us, as is Gay Pride month and unlike last year I wanna do it up right.
Last night, I talked to my friend Dlou as I was instructed. I was told by Carla, Another friend of ours that Dlou wanted to talk to me, and that she "had some...interesting...news".I called to find that my former best friend, now mortal enemy, had paid her a visit at the store where she works. She said that Brian Arnett trashed me and most of our mutual friends for 90 minutes. At first I was very angry, since he had cheated me numerous timse since I moved to louisville. He and his boyfriend Steve Haynes bled me dry of cash. I found myself a better place to live and never spoke to the trash again. This should have been the end of the story, but apparently not, Knowing the warped way Brian's mind works, this was supposed to get right back to me,(which it did) and I am supposed to react and open up a line of communication. In his mind, even negative communication means 2 people are talking and might just work out their differences.
WRONG.
I'm not about to lower myself to such trash. end of story. He can say whatever he wants to about me. I couldnt care less. If people want to belive him, then that's their right. I don't have to wallow with the pigs. And I won't speak ill of the dead, and thats just what he is to me... My friend Walt says he feels Brian has changed to which I reply "Brain has not changed... that which is REALLY him is just on the surface...he hid it to fit in with us"....how pathetic...ahh well such is life...

Daily horoscope

There are very few people in this world who are naturally qualified to be a clown.( yeah...clowns that think I care what they think of me!) You, dear Jeffrey, are one of them. You may not realize how gifted you are with children, though today you are likely to find out. Children respond to you because you treat them with kindness and respect. You do not speak down to them, as many parents do. Rather, you take the attitude that you can each teach one another. It is a powerful teaching tool, one that makes for a very interesting day! (Man. did this one hit close or what?!!)

Merci Beaucoup...

The last 12 months of my life....

2004-03-04T21:55:48Z

There was silence…. I have escaped… cut my own way out…

Back against the wall
Down on the times
Times of your own fault

A lost cause struggle
nothing can amount from this…
but days of insatiability and untruthfulness

To each his own...
To each his own grave…

Lost in himself?
Or…
enfolded up in the gloom of the lifestyle?

Pulling the strings along from the inside...
striving for that feeling of self worth
but only by these lost causes..
the grave is hollowed out

Being dependent of something
that is not you
but has command of everything you do..
is a struggle that must be won.

To each his own…
To each his own grave…

Dawning encounters will come
The days of the new
With previous days forgotten

I can only sit here and dig my grave so deep.
It has been awhile… can you lead the way?

poem by headed4caskets

Very reflective of my life right now...Very down about my current situation or lack thereof...

Merci Beaucoup...

OK so I have become a comment slut....feedback please!

2004-03-03T12:30:44Z

Stolen from tga... Humor me here:

1. Does my LJ username suit me?
2. Is my journal's title cryptic or descriptive? What do you think it means?
3. Does my journal expand your knowledge of me?
4. Do you think my bio describes me well? If there were no names given would you be able to guess who it was describing?
5. Which of my interests surprises you the least?
6. Which of my interests surprises you the most?
7. Which of my interests needs explaining?
8. How many of my friends' journals do you read on a regular basis?
9. How many of my friends are strangers to you?
10. Which of my userpics suits me best?

Merci Beaucoup...

I just DO NOT get it...

2004-03-03T11:55:03Z

I
have a couple of video chat programs on my computer; ICUII & IsPq . Now I need not explain the uses of a videochat...But what I just cannot seem to understand is this:
At a time in history when we, the Homosexuals of this country, are fighting to obtain the right to marry the person that we have chosen, why why WHY in the hell am I getting hit on by all of these guys with partners? I don't get it at all! We say we want marriage and monogamy...but then turn around and want cyber sex? What's the difference here? If a person can 'cheat' with another guy online, then the thought is already in his mind and he will most likely do it in real time as well. Am I wrong here? am I missing something? This one guy explained to me how we were miles & miles apart, and we weren't actually touching, and it was OK with partner, yada yada yada...I said to him "Do you have any idea how many men I have actually met face to face off this program?". He was stunned to find out that there are many SINGLE men that I have met and dated off ICUII & IsPq. Then just now another one...AGAIN...said he wanted to use the microphone and have a "real chat and some naked fun" but he couldn't because his partner "was asleep and he didn't want to wake him".
WTF is up with this?
I immediately put an end to that conversation. I guess my point is if we cannot keep our eyes off other guys and our cocks in our pants, then why should we expect the straight world to grant us basic rights? Jesus I have GOT to get my ass in U of L law school pronto! the divorce rate in this country will be at an all time HIGH! What a time to be a paralegal!!!

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 3rd of March:

PLAY THE ROLE OF A DIPLOMAT, ARIES!

This morning starts on a fiery passionate note as the Moon enters into Leo at 4am. (Boy you hit that right!!) You’ll want to do something brilliantly bold, this is an excellent time to evaluate the past, and aim for an intellectual break through. You’re totally aware of your friends’ point of view, and you may want to communicate this with others. I see you playing the role of a diplomat. The Sun in your 12th house opposes Jupiter, so at work you’re in the process of learning to discover who you really are. A powerful female offers you a hand, and perhaps, if you wish, a chance for creative involvement.

Merci Beaucoup...

Mayor Abramson Signed it!!!

2004-03-02T21:01:55Z

Mayor Jerry Abramson signed the ordinance that closes all adult entertainment at 1:AM. According to WDJX, this is to take effect immediately.
And it begins.
Cherokee Park will be overrun with guys now. As all of Kentucky citizen's disposable cash goes to Indiana via Caesar's and Belterra, now Louisvillian's disposable cash will go to Indiana via Theater X. Guess the good ol' days of chasing men are fast drawing to a close. Christ I wish I were part owner of Theater X...I could retire by the end of 2004!!
Next up: Smoking. I may have to leave this town...this is getting ridiculous.....

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 2nd of March:

DO CAREER-ORIENTED DAMAGE CONTROL!

It’s time to do some career damage control, Aries, since the Moon opposes Chiron. You’re in a position where you are ready to fix what is broken and move on to better things. This is when a sense of clarity and order really works for you in a big way. Mercury trines with Ceres so you’re ready to communicate with others and bring about a sense of inner healing at this point. This is your chance to communicate with powerful female relatives who are willing to come to your aid. A new business venture opens up for you, try to remain open minded as you move forward.

Merci Beaucoup...

OK enough of the pix and quizzes...time for a real post...

2004-02-29T08:54:48Z

Time to stop playing and write here...It's 3:30 AM and I'm about half drunk. I just left a bar called "Horsefeathers"...and child...its a straight bar! There was this party given by a friend of mine from Louisville MoJo and I agreed to go at least put in an appearance. I got dressed and went over to the bar after he gave me directions 4 times in a week. OK so I have to learn not to delete my messages from my MoJo 'HotBox'...As I was goin into the bar I asked this guy if this was the Party and he said 'yes', Then I asked him if he knew "Method Man". (Out of respect for his privacy "Method Man" will be referred to by his MoJo screen name throughout this blog) He said 'yes' to that too, so I imposed upon him to point "Method" out to me once we were inside. After asking around a bit he came back to the staircase where I was standing and pointed to this gentleman standing at the bar and told me that "THat's who your looking for". He was surrounded by people and I could tell by the way he was talking to all of these people and gesturing that either he had had plenty to drink or was very popular or both. I made my way around the bar and stood in line to meet him....Finally i got up to the bar where he was standing and I tapped him on the shoulder and he looked around and I said "are you "Method Man"? His eyes got big as saucers and I was welcomed like I were Tom Cruise or royalty or something. He was so happy that I came; He hugged me and then began introducing me to a lot of new people, all his friends and co-workers...I really have never had a problem moving among the straight world but at first I felt WAY out of my element but these people seemed to be really at ease with me and made me feel welcome so I stayed a while. "Method Man" bought me a couple of shots of something called a "Rock Lobster" which is one of those sneaky drinks...kicks ya in the ass when you aren't looking.
and it did, too!
After socalizing with these straight people for a bit, "Method Man" had to go out to his car and get something and I walked out withy him as he is quite the life of the party and really wanted to talk to me and while we were standing there talking this "Lobster" drink just reached up and slapped me good... one minute I'm in total control of myself and everything around me and all of a sudden its LaLa time!!! We had a nice conversation and it was nice to meet him and get to know him a little. After all he WAS the host of this party and i couldnt sit and have any kind of real conversation with him. Meeting people after chatting with them online can be a pretty neat experience. I had a couple more drinks then I quietly left and came home. "Method" was well on his way to a healthy hangover and was surrounded by people he works with. I didn't want to be in the way. I'm very tired and like i said ..Half drunk so Ill finish this later...

Greetings Aquarius, Your horoscope for the 29th of February:</b>
RELAX AND REGENERATE THIS EVENING!

This is a fun and creative Sunday for you, Aquarius. The Moon continues on in Gemini and sextiles with Venus in Aries. This means that you’re inspired to get out there and communicate with others around you. Plan to launch a few projects at this point. The Moon enters into watery Cancer by this evening so plan to slow down a little and bring about inner healing. If you’ve been working very hard this weekend this is a perfect evening to just slow down and take a nice long bath, you’re in the mood to relax and regenerate.

Merci Beaucoup...

How Oral are you?

2004-02-29T08:16:08Z

You Are an Oral Addict!

You're like the McDonald's of oral -

High on quantity with dubious quality.

While you have your tongue superstar moments...

You go way beyond licking your lover clean.

How Oral Are *You*?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

This is what Louisvillians think of El Presidente`...

2004-02-28T01:19:01Z

This woman was present for Mr. Bush's visit yesterday...gotta love her!!